Before I begin, I do not want to see ANY women under size 30 policing how the women this affects feel/handle these things. There are different tiers to being fat, different struggles and I personally would never compare myself and my struggles to a woman who is 600lbs. A size 24 will never know what it’s like to be a size 32 and you guys need to stop pretending you do. So often I say something to a smaller friend(sizes 16-24) such as “It’s so hard for me to find clothes. I am so limited. I can shop at like maybe 4 stores and they’re all online” and they say “OMG I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ME TOO! I GET SO DEPRESSED!!!”. Do you? Because I could have sworn you have WAY more options than me and you’re able to actually walk into a store and find your size. On top of that, as my friend, knowing they don’t carry my size but consider themselves to have plus sizes, you still shop there and swear we’re in the same boat. STOP. Forever 21, H&M, Wet Seal, Torrid and the lot of other stores that now go up to a 3X. Sure maybe it’s hard for you to find something in store that’s your size but imagine not being able to find anything at all. None go to size 30 except Lane Bryant, Catherine’s and Avenue- all of which have very drab, baggy clothes that decline in sex appeal as you go up in size. Not even Torrid carries my size in stores. Torrid also ONLY puts out a small amount of 4s and 5s in select sizes. Hmmmmm, wonder why that is? Mind you, I am well over a size 30 so I’m cutting them some slack here. I see a lot of women saying they’re body positive and for the fat acceptance movement but completely supporting these “ALL SIZES”, “CLOTHING FOR ALL” type lines and it’s bullshit. How feminist of you. These lines are not for “every woman”, unless I and many of my friends have been mistaken and are in fact, not women. It’s demeaning enough that when people come out with plus size clothing lines that only go up to a 3x or 24/26 but then they have to dehumanize us by saying “every woman”, then excluding us? If you’re going to make a plus size line, do it but don’t bring your prejudice into it. The thing is, they’re not that deluded, they know there are women bigger than that and yet they STILL say it. Do you not understand what they’re telling you? “These are the guidlines for being fat, stay within these sizes. Anything above that is icky and unhealthy. ew”. Do you think people like the ones who run swimsuitsforall have not gotten messages from upset women who don’t fit into their size chart? Why don’t they care? And that is the mentality of many bigger women these days. There’s acceptable fat and too fat and deathly fat and “Oh, I know I’m fat but I’m not THAT fat”, “I’m big but that’s just unhealthy!”. Body positivity isn’t even that body positive anymore. I see average sized girls commenting on posts about fat girls as if they’re actually fat and sworms of people praising them for it. I see girls, overly edited, with crazy angles, no roll out of place, being called body positive. Why? How is somebody that is concealing or altering their body, body positive? How is that when a size 12/14(a size that isn’t even considered fat by everyone) makes a post it has thousands of notes but I rarely see the bigger ladies inspirational messages being circulated. They’re there, you’re just not reblogging. Those people usually are not body positive, they’re just acceptable fat and they do their best to make themselves acceptable fat and you guys give them a gold medal for it. On top of that, because they so badly want to be acceptable fat they usually internally exclude and judge women bigger than them. I know insecurities are a complex thing and I am not putting anyone down but if we’re going to promote body positivity and fat acceptance we might as well do it right and stop putting the “safe fatties” at the forefront. DO NOT SUPPORT KELLY OSBOURNE’S NEW CLOTHING LINE AND WE NEED TO BE DONE WITH SWIMSUITS FOR ALL. This shit^^^^^ HAS TO STOP.
Can I just tell you how fucking spot on this is, as someone who’s size range from 3x, to 5x, it’s so fucking frustrating seeing smaller fats complain about the inability to find clothing, when it’s literally EVERYWHERE for ya’ll.
“These are the guidelines for being fat, stay within these sizes. Anything above that is icky and unhealthy. ew” - Hands down sums up the entire fat movement imo. If you’re above a certain size or weight, you’re disgusting and brought your being fat on yourself, so you don’t deserve to find clothing in your size - is essentially the message that’s being given by so called “body positive” folks.
Being fat is hard on everyone. But please don’t pretend that your struggle is equal to mine when it comes to certain aspects of being fat - this being one of the many.
I personally find this concept difficult.
In my life, I have always focused on “There is always someone better off than you, and always someone worse off than you”. And when it came to disability, that helped me significantly. Having people complain about illnesses that were minor to me was frustrating until I realised that, for them, this was a big deal. Because whatever they determined was “normal” wasn’t happening for them.
So complaining about people complaining that they find it hard to find clothes that fit, when they do actually find it hard, seems……..it makes me uncomfortable. Just because person A’s struggle is greater than person B’s doesn’t mean person B’s isn’t a struggle.
And I understand people conflating two struggles is difficult (refer back to disability stuff) - it’s only human to find that frustrating. But, for me, in my life, I found treating them with compassion and empathy was easier. Because how they felt wasn’t about me, it was about them. And on their scale of the world, it was bad, even if on my scale it wasn’t.
It’s very simple. As a size 26 I can go to only a small selection of stores, and most of the time the clothes available in those store are a very paltry selection of what is available in other smaller sizes. For those who are larger than size 26 they are shit. out. of. luck. Like… there are no brick and mortar stores that cater to larger sizes than 26. What do you wear when you have nothing to buy?
I don’t have any difficulty recognising that struggle even when I am on the cusp, I will try to support my superfat babe friends the best I can and recognise their struggle.
It’s like - if you are fat but can fit into an airline seat comfortably, you will probably get dirty looks and have to squish your arms against your seat neighbour. If you are fat and can not fit into an airline seat comfortably, or at all, you will be asked to move to a place where there is two seats together which you may have to pay for or you will be asked to leave.
Not being able to wear clothes or fit into places physically is a thing fat people should be able to get. It’s not about who gets it “worse”, it’s about who gets to participate in society, get treated with respect, and go virtually anywhere. If you are smaller than someone, how hard is it to understand that our culture won’t physically accommodate larger people?